Joss Whedon And His $10K Take On Terminator

Posted by Grey Monday, November 9, 2009

So now we know, that the unrelenting and at turns vicious path of legal woes for the Terminator franchise (not just the films, as potential TV spin-off, comic and etc. had to be taken into account as well) had take on another disastrous twist. It is now on sale (and no, we won't be touching on the legal details that can only prove to induce doom and boredom).

Enter Joss Whedon.

By a far shot, the only connection between Buffy's creator and cult TV (and now comics)'s scribe, Joss Whedon, and the fan-fave Terminator franchise is... Summer Glau, who first gain attention in Joss Whedon's Firefly and soon in a major role in Dollhouse, and her popular portrayal of Cameron Phillips, the female Terminator in the unfortunately canned Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

It is indeed true that Joss Whedon had come out with an open letter to the owners of Terminator franchise, offering $10,000 — you read that right the first time, $10,000 (in Dr. Evil's tone) — to buy the franchise. And of course, it is a satirical take, of Joss Whedon's part, but it sure is an intriguing attempt. In fact, Terminator is bound to be more interesting in the hands of Whedon than in its current state. Anyway, highlights of the letters, in the excerpt below.

... The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs!

Do check out the complete letter at Joss Whedon's original entry at his blog.


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