5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself): App Attack

Posted by Grey Sunday, December 20, 2009

What other better subject to open another dreadful Undead Monday ahead than this new iPhone game that... boldly embraces suicide in the face of endless corporate conference calls?

It is true.

While Sex, Religion and Politics always maintains their evergreen Hall of Fame status in taboo topics in human communication from small talks to big conversations, another sure-fire topic ought to be, Suicide. This game, with the overarching objective being, well, the name says it all, to kill yourself within 5 minutes, is pretty lock-on with controversies already.

Those who had ever played Adult Swim's free web game will be familiar with the premise. Stan, like many of the living undead, is in hell, living through the cyclical daily hell with his dead-end desk-bound job. Finally, a last-minute meeting request made him snap as he starts his misadventure in the office space finding any possible ways to kill himself. SO the player has only five minutes to totally deplete Stan's life-bar before the next meeting starts.

Nifty, eh?

While it is a fair argument that the game is already easily and more importantly, freely accessible online, there are word that the game will be further enhanced with more contents before. So for the die-hard fan of the original game, do check it out.


[adult swim]
5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself)
Category: Games
Price: $2.99
Released: Oct 19, 2009
Size: 17.6 MB
Seller: Turner Broadcasting System, Inc.
Latest version: 1.0.2



"Staple your forehead, drink toilet water, pee on computers... The amount of objects that you can interact with and the objects that can be combined with others for even more lethal damage is pretty amazing."
- Touch Arcade

"Smack yourself in the face with a stapler (Swingline or Boston, it doesn't matter), smash your head in a photo copier, ignite a fire extinguisher and point it at your face, put your hand in a guillotine, do a head stand on a paper shredder and engage in all manner of ingenious self-destruction in the fluorescent-lit hell of a modern office.... Smash your skull against the 'Buy It!' to go and take a closer look."
- Pocket Gamer

"Anyone who enjoys Adult Swim¹s brutal sense of humour in shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Frisky Dingo will struggle not to cough up a lung from laughing at this wonderfully disgraceful game."
- Know Your Mobile



You're a common, everyday desk jockey at some blah company, sitting in your blah cubicle. Suddenly you decide that you'd rather die than go to another stupid meeting. But how to get the job done Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) is a fast-paced adventure game in which you have exactly 5 minutes to kill yourself before the next boring meeting starts. Fortunately, your office is filled with a great variety of fun and dangerous objects < staplers, copiers, blow torches, a shark tank, and even a pack of rabid weasels.

• Easy-to-use controls makes killing yourself a delight
• Single and Multiplayer modes
• Challenge friends in a race to the death
• Challenge strangers in a race to the death
• Taunt your Facebook friends with your score

New in this version
• Update to reflect Facebook API changes


Compatible with iPhone and iPod touch.
Requires iPhone OS 3.0 or later.


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