WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010: 3-Minute Warning

Posted by Grey Monday, January 18, 2010

Kicking off our 3-Minute Warning features with the iPhone App iteration of WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010.

What's a 3-Minute Warning?

It is in part a homage to the late Umaga (whom real name is Eddie Fatu), who finally made an impact in his professional career in 2002, when he and his partner/cousin, Jamal (Matt Anoa'i) were repackaged as "3-Minute Warning", enforcers for then Raw brand General Manager Eric Bischoff, to squash any activity in the ring that Bischoff deemed "boring".

On the other hand, we here at The Daily Zombies takes gaming, seriously. Dead serious. Which as a result, inevitably constituting quite a time management problem both when reviewing games and leisurely playing it, given the numerous platforms and handheld games that are being launched. A problem, which we believed, to be a thorn in all diligent gamers' daily life: We don't have the time, and we certainly don't have the time and money for crappy games and the dreadful thought of actually doing a full-blown review.

Voila. Serving as a "3-Minute Warning", enforcers for you, the gamers, to squash any gaming activity that we deemed "crap". We will conduct a 3-minute review, meaning that we will only give the game in contention, 3-minute to impress us. If it does make us stay for longer than three, then perhaps it warrants a full-blown review and probably will just get one from us. If it does not, well, that's three minutes we will never get back now, do we?

In summary, "3-Minute Warning" is in our opinion, a little innovative feature we have, just so that that we can lament in hell, mourning over lost times spent, just so that you don't have to.


How apt it is then that our first product in scrutiny under the watchful eyes of 3-Minute Warning being a product of WWE: The iPhone App iteration of WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010.

And what an ugly little evil twin we have at hand.

THQ's immensely successful Smackdown Vs RAW series has been a phenomenal gaming franchise that is an offspring of both the glamorous sports entertainment and modern gaming. Naturally, the basic essences of both forms of entertainment have already assured its success should reasonably efforts and innovation be put into the production. As a result, we see the latest installment of the long-running series to reach its epitome with our earlier review.

When it was announced that an iPhone version of the game being scheduled to release, the news were met with skepticism from us here at The Daily Zombies. With more than good reasons. Anyone ever recall having a decent experience with a wrestling game on iPhone?

Having a little problem with that? But of course. There are none.

Last year's abysmal WWE Legends of WrestleMania?

Or the pro-wrestling RPG, TNA Wrestling, from Longtail Studios?

Can WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010 do the trick for iPhone?

Sadly enough, the answer is a big fat NO.

Breaking off from our M.O. on the very first article under the 3-Minute Warning, I spent almost 30 minutes on reanimating this dead piece of meat back to life and ended up brain dead myself.

Before we move on to what went north with the $5 title, let's take a look at is in store in the game. There are three modes, namely: Career, Exhibition and Quick Match. From the beginning, there will be a "stellar" eleven wrestler to choose from, and guess what, that's all for the roster unless you count on the twelfth wrestler you will "unlocked", whom I will touch on later. In the meantime, the eleven characters are: Batista, Cena, Jericho, Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Triple H, Undertaker, Big Show, Edge, Vladimir Kozlov, and Matt Hardy.

Taking a page from TNA Impact's Suicide, the twelfth custom playable character, Ultimatum, will be available for selection once you started on the Career Mode. From there, players can customized Ultimatum, right from his appearance (okay, variations on the appearance are of course limited unlike the console version of Create-A-Superstar)to his training, while on the way to the top of the WWE. And if you are thinking of increasing ability points to different aspects of your wrestler's skills a'la the console versions, look away now as there is nothing of the sorts here. Though during the course of the Career Mode, an additional twenty-seven outfits and ten signature moves are unlockable.

In Exhibition Mode, there are six match types to choose from:

1) Regular: The normal match that will end with a pinfall. The ten second countout rule applies, and so are the DQ rules.
2) No Disqualification: Players can win via pinfall or submission, and there is a single object available outside the ring.
3) WWE Extreme Rules: Pinfall or submission can be counted both in and out of the ring, and there are two foreign objects available.
4) Iron Man: Whoever scores the most pinfalls or submissions within the ring within a two minute time period wins.
5) Submission: Victory can only be achieved via submission. Its sub-category, 6) Ultimate Submission allows the wrestler with the most submissions within two minutes inside the ring to win. 
6) Last Man Standing: A no-disqualification mode with one foreign object. The only way to win is to completely drain the opponent's health meter and scoring a pinfall thereafter.

There are a total of six arenas to choose from: Smackdown, RAW, ECW, Summerslam, Survivor Series, and Wrestlemania.

For the Quick Match, it's basically the exact same thing, with the difference being that Quick Match randomly selects the settings for you, thus its namesake.

Okay, for those who is under the impression that the above were written with absolute monotony, you are right and I will tell you why... by moving on with the disastrous control that all but ensure the doom of any functionally interesting gameplay. For starters, utilizing the left thumb for the character's movement, touch a point and dragging it to another point will make the character walk, while swiping the motion makes them run. If you are in close range with your opponent, the control prompt changes so that you can choose to punch or hold the button to grapple. Meaning when you run, you can't punch or grapple and when you are in close range, you can't run. While that sounded absolutely shitty, it gets worse. Everytime you hold down (which is most of the time, come on, it's a wrestling game so of course you must grapple), the gameplay slows down and the action goes all dead stiff and the pace of the game grinds to a halt.

Just like WWE Legends of WrestleMania.

And for those thinking that at least the graphics or sound presentation will be improved, I can't seemed to detect any improvement and on the contrary, while the somewhat cartoony look of the characters in WWE Legends of WrestleMania are at least stylized and thoughtfully redesigned, the rendering of those in WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010 are simply horrid. Granted this is iPhone and I shouldn't be making comparison to the console versions. I vaguely remembered that there were online discussion back when iPhone gaming begun, and developers comparing the graphics to the original PlayStation. By PlayStation standards, I would say that the morbidly ugly-shit rendering of the characters would be equivalent to the graphic capability of a PlayStation 0.5. Every character look identical with interchangeable parts that it is so awful that it's insulting.

And to add injury to that insult, the crappy animation, the constant clipping, the bad excuse of a sound package.


------------------------------------------


The Rundown
Don't try this at home. Or anywhere else.

The Good
- Can we just skip this part? Okay, it's probably something to keep you distracted for three minutes if it's your lucky day.

Do... Not... Submit... to a crappy game as such, even if you are wrestling addict who crave wrestling game on your iPhone. This is not even remotely recommendable for any die-hard WWE fans.

The Bad
- While I can be rolling out at least ten bullet points detailing why you should not be anywhere near this travesty, I'm gonna spent my already wasted time on the finer things in life. Bad control, worse presentation, overall shitty excuse of a game made this something to dump into the blackhole of this WWE Universe.

And Better Luck Next Time?
Yeah, we can only keep that fingers crossed now that Capcom has refined gameplay control for an iPhone game with their excellent Street Fighter IV port.

Abysmal
Abysmal

For a more transparent understanding on the Game Reviews here in The Daily Zombies, please check out "The Daily Zombie Rating System And Review Policy for Gaming".

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As per our App Attack tradition, the complete application description as below, for those interested.


WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010
THQ Wireless Inc.
Category: Games
Price: $4.99
Released: Dec 23, 2009
Size: 12.8 MB
Seller: THQ, Inc.
Latest version: 1.0.42

SCREENSHOTS





APPLICATION DESCRIPTION
The official WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010 game on your iPhone!

Create your own Superstar from the ground up and rise from obscurity to legendary fame as you face the Superstars of SmackDown, Raw and ECW. Adjust your Superstar’s appearance, unlock new clothes, accessories, tattoos and signature moves, boost his fighting capabilities and show the crowd what you’re made of! Additionally, adopt the role of your favorite WWE Superstar and enter customizable Exhibition matches for some quick action.

Have YOU got what it takes to become a Superstar?

• Features 11 real-life Superstars from Raw, SmackDown and ECW.
• Compete in 6 WWE arenas, including the legendary WrestleMania.
• Visible on-screen Action Icons keep you aware of your options at any point in the game.
• Create-a-Superstar – and develop him further as new options become gradually unlocked.
• Comprehensive Career Mode with an easy entry coupled with constantly expanding options and choice.




------------

For games that really rock (and roll and shake) check out www.youtube.com/thqwireless and
http://iphone.thqwireless.com

Other games by THQ Wireless:

PASS THE PIGS – A dice game with a difference!
STAR WARS THE FORCE UNLEASHED – iPhone version of the hugely successful console game.
DE BLOB – Paint the town Red, Blue, or Green. iPhone version of the best selling Wii game
STAR WARS SOUND BOARD – The best sound bites from your favourite Star Wars characters!
INDIANA JONES SOUND BOARD – The best sound bites from the world’s greatest action hero!
SUPER FRUITFALL – Match-3, screen tilting puzzle fun!
CHOP SUSHI – One of the best puzzle, match-3 games on the iPhone and iPod Touch
WWE LEGENDS – Relive, rewrite or redefine the greatest moments in WWE History
PET VET - Animal lover’s dream – care for all creatures great and small with no vets fees!
UP! – The official game of the Disney.Pixar motion picture
TREASURE GRAB – A maze chase game of stealing everything
INDIANA JONES AND THE LOST PUZZLES - Indiana Jones’ first ever puzzle adventure!
NEW IN THIS VERSIONLANGUAGESEnglishREQUIREMENTSCompatible with iPhone and iPod touch.
Requires iPhone OS 2.2 or later.

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