The Garden Zombie: Zombie Of The Week

Posted by Grey Friday, January 14, 2011

In desperate need of totally unnecessary but utterly awesome decorations in your otherwise miserably little garden lawn? Here's a little something to brighten (or rather darken) your day.

Find the Metalocalypse Blood Fountain a little too hefty for your pocket? Here's another darkly delicious item to bring that pop culture touch to your garden: The Garden Zombie!

Readily available at ThinkGeek, the Garden Zombie is a lifesize resin garden sculpture that will surely scare the fuck out of your puny neighbors. At 89.99 bucks, that's quite a steal in itself (given the infinite potential of it further antagonizing your creepy neighbors, your interrupting in-laws, or lazy bum cousins). ThinkGeek actually wrote a nice little description on the item, so nice that I'm leaving it intact right below for your reading pleasure.

There's A Zombie On Your Lawn!

- Lifesize resin garden sculpture
- Incredibly detailed and wonderfully creepy
- 31.5 x 19.5 x 8 inches

Nobody was quite sure what caused it. An alien pathogen riding the tail of Halley's Comet? Some government "rage" virus? Radiation from a downed satellite? Your guess is as good as ours, but one thing's for sure - the dead are rising, and they are hungry for your brains.

It's a post-zombie world, and if we want to live in it, we have to learn to live with them. Everybody walks around with large caliber weapons, swords, and cricket bats now, but every now and again you see the so-called "domesticated" zombies. These de-toothed and chained shamblers are useful for all sorts of tasks - from carrying your groceries to scaring off those nasty neighborhood kids.

Now, of course it's illegal to sell reanimated corpses, so we've had to rely on resin facsimiles to stand in for a frightening visage of death. Watching over your garden is a monstrous shambler, pale, vile and seemingly hungry! Of course, you know better! He's just a terrifying statue! From mid-torso up, he "rises" out of your freshly tilled and mulched begonias ready to devour the brains of the next interloper he comes across. Guaranteed to scare away any trespasser, without the headaches of accidentally releasing a real zombie. All those complications, bodies, and police forms - who needs the hassle?

Your fresh resin Garden Zombie comes packed in three pieces, and assembles in seconds!

Source: ThinkGeek


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